Oh mighty Oracle,

After many years of using Logitech G15s and Razer Lycosas, I now want a mechanical keyboard. I am a simple man, and thus have simple requirements:

• It must have a gaming optimized cluster, extreme anti-ghosting and a controller scan rate of 1000Hz.
• It must be backlit in all the colours of the rainbow.
• I saw this NKRO thing on a marketing sheet for a keyboard. I must have it.
• The keyboard must be lightweight and compact enough to fit into my fashionable ladies purse.
• It must have no less than 10,000 Macro keys so that I can pwn n00bs in WoW.
• It must be heavy enough so that I can use it as a weapon in the Zombie apocalypse I've read so much about.
• It must be quiet enough so that it won't wake my wife/mistress/mother/cat when they are attempting to sleep on top of my computer.
• It must have definite auditory feedback that I can hear from the next block.
• I hear all the pro gamers like Black switches, so it must have Black switches, whatever that means.
• I read on a Youtube comment that IBM made the best keyboards ever. So it must be made by IBM.
• It must be wireless, with atomic batteries.
• I hate wireless, PS/2 all the way man. Better polling rates.
• I saw this thing on the Oprah Winfrey show about RSI. Therefore, the keyboard must have a curve in it so that I wont develop arthritis. It must not be fully adjustable because those things are so gay and 1990s.
• It must have passthrough ports for my mouse, headset, fibrechannel disk array and my red line to Batman.
• The keys must be blank, because I hear professional typists use blank keyboards.
• I need a hi-def OLED screen with low response times to keep an eye on mah 'temps.
• I should support overclocking of the keyboard controller so that I can type faster.
• I am a poor student. It must not cost more than $30.
• It must be endorsed by a dozen pro-gamers, a half dozen Nobel laureates and at least two US senators.

Above all, it must have low profile keycaps.

daedalus wrote:Oh mighty Oracle,

After many years of using Logitech G15s and Razer Lycosas, I now want a mechanical keyboard. I am a simple man, and thus have simple requirements:

The Keyboard Oracle has decided: The Fujitsu "Peerless" FKB4700.

Woah, I hear the pope uses one of those!

Dear Oracle,

Is it true that a Mechanical Keyboard will make my penis grow longer. What about wider?

I can answer that. You need to buy a DataHand for that.

I've been using my hand on a regular basis since Middle School. Maybe I forgot the "Data" part?

lol

ripster wrote:I've been using my hand on a regular basis since Middle School. Maybe I forgot the "Data" part?

kids from middle school have often problems with their fine motor skills,
so no with average abilities (the forgotten Data part) this would not
become better.. but i'm sure some playboy attitudes may more help..

I recommend you to use intensive an playboy trackball..

I bet ripsters pickup line is something like "do you want to see my lego collection OR my keyboard collection?"
How could anyone resist?!

Big lens works the best.


Hey, what's that in the window!

I can imagine this fact, with an big lens in your hand "everything" becomes greater, but i
have never seen such intellectual images from you at GH, so freshly shaved and with
a lot of reading matter on your side.. i mean lego literature for playboy's of course..

Every American boy's dream is to grow up to be a Playboy photographer.

Where those from Rip? Linky?

The Keyboard Oracle has decided: The girl in the middle.

The Keyboard Oracle wrote:The Keyboard Oracle has decided: The girl in the middle.

OMG. You read my mind.

You really ARE an Oracle!

oracle. what's wrong w/ you? you sound like ww now

the one in the middle looks like a cheap slut. she has no lips and i highly doubt you'd find teeth in there.

the reddish one though, has that classy looks. nice set of lips, a conditioned chest, & erect figure. now, that bit of fat there i don't mind. her torso is elongated and somewhat disproportionate to her lower body which makes me assert that her vagina must have a narrow feature which makes her ideal for sporadic and long-term entries.

Remember your hazard suite when going in there. And new research reveals that women gives men cancer

chimborazo wrote:oracle. what's wrong w/ you? you sound like ww now

the one in the middle looks like a cheap slut. she has no lips and i highly doubt you'd find teeth in there.

the reddish one though, has that classy looks. nice set of lips, a conditioned chest, & erect figure. now, that bit of fat there i don't mind. her torso is elongated and somewhat disproportionate to her lower body which makes me assert that her vagina must have a narrow feature which makes her ideal for sporadic and long-term entries.

It is always comforting to know that there are always people more perverted than me on any forum I post on.

ripster wrote:
It is always comforting to know that there are always people more perverted than me on any forum I post on.

i almost report you ripster lol.

lol yeah right. as if i’m the one who combines - albeit in a very subtle way - soft porn w/ technology. lol. i’m just an spectator of nature’s beautiful strokes w/ the female body. childishly looking pictures though - not necessarily uploaded by you, are not parts of either my biological or moral preference.

heck, as a matter of fact, the first time i had been redirected and hyperlinked to gh was for a selectric article, just to find out that my hard earned concentration was rapidly swayed by a blonde w/ two succulent - shall i say four cherries - the number of fruits became irrelevant at that point. go figure who posted it. lol

Minskleip wrote:Remember your hazard suite when going in there. And new research reveals that women gives men cancer

cancer? lol. are you serious? as much as i am willing to hear your advice on technology, i am deeply concerned now about your cat w/ its seemingly endless feline diseases than just good ol’ pussy.
lol.
but seriously, i’m not interested to hear or read about it. neither a concomitant assay nor white coats hysterical fanfare around a petri dish will convince me otherwise.

It was in Norwegian news, it has to be true! Why would they lie?

These scientific studies don't usually mean too much. They'll interview 15 people and then say that something'll give you cancer.

Here is how you can reproduce their results: gather 4000 (this is actually too few) guys and gals and have them suck each other off. A lot of them should get cancer. (Man female semen has to be some really strong stuff!)

Film it on DVD too. Profit.

That would be unethical!

Oh, great oracle! Tell me, is there any keyboard:
1. Sub 200$ price
2. "HHKB-clone" with the magical extra key from iso-layouts which usualy resides next to the key which makes bigger letters and the Z-key
3. Cherry MX would be awfully nice too

Ekaros wrote:Oh, great oracle! Tell me, is there any keyboard:
1. Sub 200$ price
2. "HHKB-clone" with the magical extra key from iso-layouts which usualy resides next to the key which makes bigger letters and the Z-key
3. Cherry MX would be awfully nice too

The Keyboard Oracle has decided: The Ortek MKB-84 FX.

nice keyboard, oracle..

Atleast something exist. So my wishes to one day finding modern version might not be in wain...