The Keyboard Collector's Poem

elecplus · 31 Mar 2015, 10:47

Small kish, baby kisk, long kish, M
To grind them up would be a sin.
Sand paper, paint pot, epoxy glue
These will make them just like new.
We hoard them, we hide them,
We treat them with care.
We spend all our money,
Our cupboards are bare!
But we full of bliss
Nothing is amiss.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
And yes, we love to hold her!

Bad poetry, I know, but I couldn't sleep. Who can improve on it?

Madhias · 31 Mar 2015, 10:54

Muirium · 31 Mar 2015, 12:05

Poetry? Nah. But I have got a twelve bar blues.

My eyes are green with envy,
But my wallet's paid his dues.
Been sitting here for half the year,
Still ain't got good news.

Oh you know for sure.
I got them Cherry MX blues.
(Harmonica.)
Ain't no fancy Topres,
Ain't nothin' I can use.
I got them blues.

scottc · 31 Mar 2015, 14:08

I dread to think that it's keyboards that keep you up at night, Cindy...

Halvar · 31 Mar 2015, 14:10

It does sound a little bit like the protocol of a nightmare... Very artistic ...

fohat · 01 Apr 2015, 00:32

This thread is a very good idea. I may even try to write something myself.

As with some/many/most eclectic hobbies, an outsider will wonder when psychiatric help is called for.

Somewhat off-topic, but I will re-post these 2 ditties yet again:

Quote from: Anonymous Coward, circa 2011:

I feel ashamed when I see a grown up man say things like "…. a sharp drop at the actuation point at around 2/3 - 3/4 way down the ...."

Don't you have anything better to do with your life than yammering away on the minute details of a keyboard? I have both an M and an F that I picked up at goodwill for nothing 15 years ago and for the first time yesterday I googled about them and found 'enthusiast' (here an euphemism for retarded) websites where idiots bounce off the walls telling each other about the orgasms per second they have when using them.

And 'using' is an overstatement with 90% of those morons. Most are busy opening them, cleaning the last atom of dirt off them, 'restoring' what doesn't need any restoration, 'upgrading', thinking of names for them, 'modding', taking photos, showing them off, in general jerking off about the clicky sensations and the superb accuracy of their typing and other general uber-dorkiness. What I never found there was anything useful to do with them, ie. actually program a computer.

Go type 'messenger lectures' in youtube and see what smart people look like, then kill yourself disassembling your One True Keyboard (TM) for the nth time and swallowing all the buckling springs.

And then mail one of your remaining model Fs to me.

LLRnR · 01 Apr 2015, 09:19

This is a nice thread! I might be onto something here, poetry-wise, but to know for sure I need the help of native English speakers: is the term "NIB" pronounced /en-eye-bee/ or as in /nib/?

seebart · 01 Apr 2015, 09:34

yes this is easily the most creative thread on DT, apart from Top Gun Coolmadness Whoopi Goldberg As Guinan's Eyebrows!

LLRnR · 01 Apr 2015, 11:16

Since rhymes seem to sprout out of the end of my fingers today, I didn't want to miss the opportunity, but! There is a "but": nobody told me yet if "NIB" can be pronounced /nib/, so I assumed it is the case. If, however, it should be pronounced /en-eye-bee/, then my rhymes are wrong.

All precautions have been taken, so... here goes!

The Ballad of the Old SSK

Since I have stumbled
Upon these great boards,
Dimensions unraveled,
I'm hooked beyond words.

With the help of a fairy
I saved a space saver,
And oh! how it serves me
In return of this favor.

It was tired and beaten,
Sadly rusting away,
Until I retrieved it
On a bright, sunny day.

It's my cherished companion
That clacks away loudly
And I'm happy to say
That it looks at me proudly.

But it's one of a kind,
Sits on the desk all alone,
Has no beloved brother
Within the walls of my home.

Must be feeling so lonely,
My poor SSK,
No next of kin, one and only,
Not having a NIB SSK!

I thus ventured to find one
So they could be whole,
Together forever,
Old SSK and its NIB bro.

I've searched and I've searched,
But nothing so far.
Where is my old SSK's
Lucky star?

Some wise folks have told me
That I missed the last train –
A chance in a million
For a NIB SSK.

Time trickles away,
The agony rises...
What more can I say?
My old SSK's on the verge of a crisis.

"I am still hoping
You find one someday,
For life has no meaning
Without a NIB SSK."

The last stanza is, erm, just the old SSK speaking

seebart · 01 Apr 2015, 11:23

Very nice LLRnR, your Ballad of the Old SSK! It's pronounced "en-eye-bee" not "nib" by the way.

LLRnR · 01 Apr 2015, 11:26

seebart wrote: ↑Very nice LLRnR, your Ballad of the Old SSK! It's pronounced "en-eye-bee" not "nib" by the way.

Thanks

Ah, damn, I was afraid I'd chosen the wrong pronunciation. With /en-eye-bee/ there are 3 syllables whereas in /nib/ there's only one, so the prosody is wrong. I'll see if I can fix it later today, if not, I'll try to make up something else

seebart · 01 Apr 2015, 11:46

in poetry you can be creative, no need to "fix" anything!

LLRnR · 01 Apr 2015, 13:01

Yeah, I guess you're right, I'll leave it as it is

I can't help but wonder, since this nice "keyboard collector's poem" thread was started by none other than Cindy, what kind of keyboard she's using.

seebart · 01 Apr 2015, 13:12

from woman to woman I'm sure she'll tell you.

scottc · 01 Apr 2015, 13:13

seebart wrote: ↑from woman to woman I'm sure she'll tell you.

...WTF

Anyway, Cindy has said before that she uses a Razer with MX blues!

LLRnR · 01 Apr 2015, 13:15

Hahaha! OK, well, it's good, it clicks!

seebart · 01 Apr 2015, 13:21

what's up scottc? How is that funny? I meant that seriously. OK it's a little funny, but not THAT much?!?

But I guess we already know what Cindy is typing on then.

LLRnR · 01 Apr 2015, 13:26

I think it's just the wording that maybe came out funny, that's what must have amused scottc. Yeah, I'm a gal and I dig IBMs

I was curious as to what Cindy is typing on because I haven't seen it mentioned before (and it's not mentioned in her profile, either), so thanks for clearing that up.

scottc · 01 Apr 2015, 13:28

seebart wrote: ↑what's up scottc? How is that funny? I meant that seriously. OK it's a little funny, but not THAT much?!?

But I guess we already know what Cindy is typing on then.

LLRnR has it right. I just found it a really strange thing to say!

seebart · 01 Apr 2015, 13:36

LLRnR wrote: ↑Yeah, I'm a gal and I dig IBMs

Now that I find funny!

If you become a DT member LLRnR, that should be your "rank" / signature!

Well I'm just a strange old man scott!

: 5ab68ed04a4ed37e982ed57cdf2a0678fef29e5b5c455fb29fca37b4c6fdea6c.jpg (72.95 KiB) Viewed 2678 times

fohat · 01 Apr 2015, 14:43

LLRnR wrote: ↑
seebart wrote: ↑
Very nice LLRnR, your Ballad of the Old SSK!

It's pronounced "en-eye-bee" not "nib" by the way.
With /en-eye-bee/ there are 3 syllables whereas in /nib/ there's only one, so the prosody is wrong.

Just replace "N-I-B" with "free"

LLRnR · 01 Apr 2015, 14:50

seebart wrote: ↑
LLRnR wrote: ↑Yeah, I'm a gal and I dig IBMs
Now that I find funny! If you become a DT member LLRnR, that should be your "rank" / signature!

Haha, yeah, I certainly want to do that but was planning on getting my PhD grant or a job first (I'm a hungry student at the moment...). However, it might happen sooner than that, as Mu just announced member that #0099 has already joined... thinking right now whether it's number 100 or 101 that I'd prefer.

fohat wrote: ↑Just replace "N-I-B" with "free"

Not bad, but that would change the meaning. The NIB SSK is a reference to the fact that I got here on DT a bit too late, once the NIB SSK treasure had been reclaimed.

By the way, that Anonymous Coward quote of yours is deliriously funny!

idollar · 01 Apr 2015, 14:51

Muirium wrote: ↑Poetry? Nah. But I have got a twelve bar blues.

My eyes are green with envy,
But my wallet's paid his dues.
Been sitting here for half the year,
Still ain't got good news.

Oh you know for sure.
I got them Cherry MX blues.
(Harmonica.)
Ain't no fancy Topres,
Ain't nothin' I can use.
I got them blues.

We need someone to record the kbd blues !