Computer jokes
- elecplus
- Location: Kerrville, TX, USA
- DT Pro Member: 0082
- Contact:
We need a section for computer jokes
I'll start with this one:
Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
I'll start with this one:
Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
- seebart
- Offtopicthority Instigator
- Location: Germany
- Main keyboard: Rotation
- Main mouse: Steelseries Sensei
- Favorite switch: IBM capacitive buckling spring
- DT Pro Member: 0061
- Contact:
OK that's a pretty good start. This better become a looong thread.
- fohat
- Elder Messenger
- Location: Knoxville, Tennessee, USA
- Main keyboard: Model F 122-key terminal
- Main mouse: Microsoft Optical Mouse
- Favorite switch: Model F Buckling Spring
- DT Pro Member: 0158
TOP TEN LIES HEARD BY SERVICE ENGINEERS
1. The company appreciates all of the long hours you put in.
2. We'll get you an answer today.
3. It's always run that way.
4. You're the only one we have who can do this work.
5. If we paid you for overtime, you would be less of a professional.
6. We'll have the equipment ready for you when you get here.
7. Our operators and mechanics will get you anything that you ask for.
8. If we can just fix it well enough to get by for a year, we'll do a major rebuild.
9. We don't know why the equipment broke down.
10. It has been tested at the factory.
TOP TEN LIES TOLD BY SERVICE ENGINEERS
1. It will take a minimum of eight hours.
2. I'll send a final report within a week.
3. I've never worked on one of these before.
4. I lost the receipt.
5. None of our other customers have this problem.
6. I had to rent the big car because they were out of little ones.
7. I had to drive all day.
8. That's the way it's supposed to operate, there's nothing wrong with it.
9. That was the way I received the equipment
10. I worked through lunch.
1. The company appreciates all of the long hours you put in.
2. We'll get you an answer today.
3. It's always run that way.
4. You're the only one we have who can do this work.
5. If we paid you for overtime, you would be less of a professional.
6. We'll have the equipment ready for you when you get here.
7. Our operators and mechanics will get you anything that you ask for.
8. If we can just fix it well enough to get by for a year, we'll do a major rebuild.
9. We don't know why the equipment broke down.
10. It has been tested at the factory.
TOP TEN LIES TOLD BY SERVICE ENGINEERS
1. It will take a minimum of eight hours.
2. I'll send a final report within a week.
3. I've never worked on one of these before.
4. I lost the receipt.
5. None of our other customers have this problem.
6. I had to rent the big car because they were out of little ones.
7. I had to drive all day.
8. That's the way it's supposed to operate, there's nothing wrong with it.
9. That was the way I received the equipment
10. I worked through lunch.
- SL89
- ‽
- Location: Massachusetts, USA
- Main keyboard: CODE 104
- Main mouse: Logitech M570
- Favorite switch: Cherry MX Green
- DT Pro Member: 0095
I use this tool to make the users feel better. My boss thinks its the funniest thing in the entire world. It's a placebo tool to do ridiculous things (sync the ram, set petaflop rate, etc) and the users love it because they think im fixing their made up problems...
- Mal-2
- Location: Los Angeles, CA
- Main keyboard: Cherry G86-61400
- Main mouse: Generic 6-button "gaming mouse"
- Favorite switch: Probably buckling spring, but love them Blues too
- DT Pro Member: -
- Contact:
ID-ten-T error: aka, the ID-10-T error. Usually verbalized as first listed, this is not restricted to userspace. Sysadmins perform plenty of ID-10-T errors of their own.
PEBCAK: Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard. For situations more permanent than a simple ID-10-T error.
PEBCAK: Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard. For situations more permanent than a simple ID-10-T error.
-
- Location: US
- Main keyboard: Omnikey 102 Blackheart
- Main mouse: Kensington Expert Mouse
- Favorite switch: White Alps
- DT Pro Member: 0174
"Hewlitt-Packard". They're a joke.
This is an old favourite: http://repeater-builder.com/molotora/go ... 120-bw.pdf
This is an old favourite: http://repeater-builder.com/molotora/go ... 120-bw.pdf
- Halvar
- Location: Baden, DE
- Main keyboard: IBM Model M SSK / Filco MT 2
- Favorite switch: Beam & buckling spring, Monterey, MX Brown
- DT Pro Member: 0051
- Muirium
- µ
- Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
- Main keyboard: HHKB Type-S with Bluetooth by Hasu
- Main mouse: Apple Magic Mouse
- Favorite switch: Gotta Try 'Em All
- DT Pro Member: µ
Okay, let's dial it up.
There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who know binary, and those who aren't picking up objects to throw at me for using this one!
There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who know binary, and those who aren't picking up objects to throw at me for using this one!
-
- Location: UK
- Main keyboard: Filco ZERO green alps, Model F 122 Terminal
- Main mouse: Ducky Secret / Roller Mouse Pro 1
- Favorite switch: MX Mount Topre / Model F Buckling
- DT Pro Member: 0167
http://bofh.ntk.net/BOFH/index.php
i love reading this, its very funny, even more so now i work in a primarily unix environment
i love reading this, its very funny, even more so now i work in a primarily unix environment
- idollar
- i$
- Location: Germany (Frankfurt area)
- Main keyboard: IBM F or M
- Favorite switch: BS
- DT Pro Member: -
A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers
http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc1149
http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc1149
- chzel
- Location: Athens, Greece
- Main keyboard: Phantom
- Main mouse: Mionix Avior 7000
- Favorite switch: Beamspring, BS, Vintage Blacks.
- DT Pro Member: 0086
-
- Location: UK
- Main keyboard: Filco ZERO green alps, Model F 122 Terminal
- Main mouse: Ducky Secret / Roller Mouse Pro 1
- Favorite switch: MX Mount Topre / Model F Buckling
- DT Pro Member: 0167
Why did the Voip system fail ?
Because some idiot nocked out the cable between the server and the switch.
Oh wait thats not a joke it just happend today
In my defence that coms cab is an embarrassment to the person who was here last and they should feel bad . And the cable had no clip on it
Because some idiot nocked out the cable between the server and the switch.
Oh wait thats not a joke it just happend today
In my defence that coms cab is an embarrassment to the person who was here last and they should feel bad . And the cable had no clip on it
- Halvar
- Location: Baden, DE
- Main keyboard: IBM Model M SSK / Filco MT 2
- Favorite switch: Beam & buckling spring, Monterey, MX Brown
- DT Pro Member: 0051
Admin 1: We now introduced voice over IP throughout the whole company.
Admin 2: So, what's the point?
Admin 1: Well, err, for example, no pesky calls any more when the network breaks down...
- wlhlm
- ~
- Location: Dresden, Germany
- Main keyboard: Realforce 87U 55g
- Main mouse: Logitech G500
- Favorite switch: 55g Topre
- DT Pro Member: -
- Contact:
Nice one!
- fohat
- Elder Messenger
- Location: Knoxville, Tennessee, USA
- Main keyboard: Model F 122-key terminal
- Main mouse: Microsoft Optical Mouse
- Favorite switch: Model F Buckling Spring
- DT Pro Member: 0158
I decided to troll through some of my humorous photos.
- Attachments
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- Copy-Pasta.jpg (19.16 KiB) Viewed 5081 times
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- microsoft_tech_support.jpg (140.62 KiB) Viewed 5081 times
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- firefox-logo.jpg (47.5 KiB) Viewed 5081 times
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- angry.jpg (24.83 KiB) Viewed 5081 times
- gogusrl
- Location: Romania
- Main keyboard: Cherry G80-1851
- Main mouse: Logitech G9x
- Favorite switch: linear stuff
- DT Pro Member: -
- seebart
- Offtopicthority Instigator
- Location: Germany
- Main keyboard: Rotation
- Main mouse: Steelseries Sensei
- Favorite switch: IBM capacitive buckling spring
- DT Pro Member: 0061
- Contact:
Halvars joke is actually becoming reality in Germany. Telekom is planning to switch most of their customers to voice IP without the infrastructure actually being ready for that.
- wlhlm
- ~
- Location: Dresden, Germany
- Main keyboard: Realforce 87U 55g
- Main mouse: Logitech G500
- Favorite switch: 55g Topre
- DT Pro Member: -
- Contact:
Thanks I indeed enjoy it Just watched #4. Hilarious how the admin plays some nethack in between the madness.