deskthority

How do you swear? What do you say when something annoying happens? Is it a simple "fuck", a hushed "flip" or something else?

Where I'm from exotic swearing is almost a sport, so I say stuff like "cunting shitballs" and "ass-pissing vagina monkeys".

I usually go for the classics , fuck twat and cunt. I am also a fan of smeg head!

I don't trust any IT professional that does not say fuck twat and cunt at least 50 times each a day.

Haha opening a thread for this Chyros? That's f*u*c*k'in awesome. I remember in that biking thread we had you were quite specific in your explanation of your swearing. A relevant part of your daily life eh?

'Fuck' and it's variations are definitely my go to. I don't use much else. For some strange reason I have "cockhead" reserved for when I road rage at someone (e.g. "nice indicator, cockhead").

It's actually weird how true this is here too:


Not that it needs much explanation but you can deliver 'mate' in such a condescending and passive-aggressive way to people who are being cunts and they will definitely pick up that you don't like them or what they're doing, whereas 'cunt' has come to be a term of endearment to close friends -- but generally not female friends.

I have a feeling this thread has "potential".

seebart wrote: ↑Haha opening a thread for this Chyros? That's f*u*c*k'in awesome. I remember in that biking thread we had you were quite specific in your explanation of your swearing. A relevant part of your daily life eh?

CWMhrLFWEAAf1yI.jpg

Nice picture .

Yes, I swear like a sailor, and pretty much all day long. I like to swear in different languages, too.

Putain de bordel de merde, fait chier la bite!

Faens jævla helvetes kukhore rævhøl fitte drittballe!

Ma che cazzo, brutto figlio di puttana bastardo!

Cao ni niang de zhu zong shi ba dai!

etc. enz. usw.

Ah yes of course now I remember, multi-lingual swearing in your case. On the other hand with that UGLY smiley of yours you don't need any further offensive behaviour!

For starters, lets put some higher standards in this topic.

You goddamn son of a left-handed flea-ridden one-eyed she-bitch on wheels.

webwit wrote: ↑For starters, lets put some higher standards in this topic.

You goddamn son of a left-handed flea-ridden one-eyed she-bitch on wheels.

Who would have thought a duck could swear like that?

Cockgobblers!

(And I use that in a positive, affirmative, empowering way. Because goodness knows the world would be a worse place without the gobbling.)

webwit wrote: ↑For starters, lets put some higher standards in this topic.

You goddamn son of a left-handed flea-ridden one-eyed she-bitch on wheels.

Not bad, but I'll stick to "inbred jizz stain" myself.

I don't really swear in RL otherwise.

For me it is usually very simple, and I reserve complex swears for special situations.

Ordinary, run-of-the-mill annoyances rarely rate more than "shit" or "fuck" while slightly more involved invectives usually include bodily functions. Non-vulgar physiological terms such as "sputum", "pus", "scrotum" or "anus" can add interest.

Inanimate objects are generally just "fucked-up" and bad behavior in humans mostly just results in a mere "asshole!" with emphasis on both syllables.

Thanks to autocorrect, I've started jokingly referring to friends and foes alike as "counts" in public. Kids have no idea you're using strong language! And I always had a soft spot for you-know-who.

I happen to know that in the US swearing in public is not quite as uninhibited as say for example most of Europe. Now I'm not taking sides here, I'm sure there are pros and cons apart from the legal situation itself.

Autocorrect swearing...hmm that's an interesting concept?!?

Muirium wrote: ↑Thanks to autocorrect, I've started jokingly referring to friends and foes alike as "counts" in public. Kids have no idea you're using strong language! And I always had a soft spot for you-know-who.

I WILL COUNT ZEM

ONE COUNT, TWO COUNTS, THREE COUNTS, FOUR COUNTS....

Stinky counts, hairy counts, bald counts. It's all good!

Mist-o-kack!
(a haze of faeces blinds my vision)

Err, no, it means: crappo bullshit!

Ever since we've had kids I've had to tone it down; I used to love saying (fucking) Jesus until my little girl asked my mum one Christmas if Fucking Jesus was the same person as Baby Jesus...

I swear way too (fucking) much. My all-time favourites are:

- Putting 'fucking' between most sets of two related words. I like to chain these and end up with things like "son of a fucking bitch". Good times.
- Cunt. The best word. Everyone and everything can be called a cunt. Sometimes in games when I die they're even "fucking cunts". It's great.

Apart from that, I do love my exotic swearing but I've toned it down since many of my friends aren't native English speakers. I've confused friends who've taken my exotic swearing too literally before.

In Polish, swearing seems like an art. I'm not good enough at speaking the language to understand it all, but I feel like 'kurwa' and 'pierdol' can be used to replace basically anything: a syllable, a verb, whatever you might want. It's beautiful, really.

Swearing in German is also very nice, it's like the language was made for it. Just about everything in German sound like swearing, come to think of it. Just go FUENFTAUSENDDREIHUNDERTZECHSUNDSIEBZIGPUNKTACHTNEUNZWEI, no cunting shitballs can match that .

By the moon and the stars in the sky.

Chyros wrote: ↑Swearing in German is also very nice, it's like the language was made for it. Just about everything in German sound like swearing, come to think of it. Just go FUENFTAUSENDDREIHUNDERTZECHSUNDSIEBZIGPUNKTACHTNEUNZWEI, no cunting shitballs can match that

I can verify that, although you may need some more practice Chyros! Combine that with you UGLY smiley and that's some serious assault.

Chyros wrote: ↑Just about everything in German sound like swearing

*Krrraft-fahrrr-tssseug!*

(motor vehicle)

It can also be useful to have some terms in storage for use in semi-polite situations such as "corprophage" or "pillow-biter"

Oh putain, fait chier ! C'est bon, ça me casse les couilles !

By the way:

Calling Mu for a translation!
His frustration and swearing is hilarious!

I found that video fairly understandable... at times...

I tried it without the subtitles and caught a few words...