deskthority

My new F77 Model F produced to spec by Model F Labs doesn't work. Their support page is summarized as "go cry about it on Deskthority, no refunds" so here I am.

If this at all matters, the specific nonfunctional keys are:
RTUP[ ]"LKJFSAC , Right-Shift and Left CTRL

After opening the box and placing all the keys into their respective place (which must be done vertically for some reason) I was immediately greeted by a plethora of non-functional keys. The official website suggests no need for drivers per my operating system (Win10Ame), so I've dismissed that as the issue (and no other generic USB keyboard I've used has ever required them.) The following hasn't worked:

• Reseating the spring (I sharpened a pencil and carefully pressed it into the little switch-nub)
  Punching said switch-nub manually with a pencil eraser (I hear the desired twangy click but no key press is registered)
  Checking if the switch is somehow stuck or lodged (it's not)
  Trying different USB ports (a generic crap Cherry-brand keyboard works fine)

I'm really hoping this isn't a manufacturing defect as I've waited seven months for this thing. Any help would be appreciated.

EDIT: Also worth noting when I put a spring in, witness it suck and then pull it back out, the keyboard begins registering that letter indefinitely (i.e. rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ... )

Alright, I figured out my rookie mistake. Incidentally this is the first thing I'm ever typing with my new $450 keyboard.

There's a reason the guide asks you to watch a video and listen for a specific sound: it's a way to determine the exact, precise sound one of these Model F's is going to make when the keys actually work. That being said, it's a terrible way to figure it out. Chances are at least one of your keys actually registers if you've tried seating them all, so instead of watching that video, I instead suggest pressing that single, working key a few times and listening extremely closely. You hear that yoinky-sploinky? That characteristic chuh-pang when you press in and release the key? That's the sound every single key will make when it works properly without exception.

I'm serious, the sound is that precise and telltale. You will hear a lot of thunks, a lot of things that are sort of like the right sound. You'll swear you got it a few times. These are siren's lies, do it over and over until you get that right tactile sensation (and noise) with a key press. You'll know it when you get it.

But why does the guide suggest holding the board vertically? By default most of my springs were seated well (with a few exceptions), but when you have the board do anything except lie horizontally it makes those springs stand directly out of the keyhole like little rows of uniform soldiers. Obviously twisting your keyboard in one direction may not put the springs at this super-precise angle, so spin it around until you think it's as close to centered as possible.

If your spring isn't standing out, straight and directly out of the middle of the hole, use this method to gently pull it out and press it back in:
https://imgur.com/a/6bnzW
Yes this will also take a few tries. You spent upwards three-hundred bucks on this thing, she has high standards.

But why do you want that to happen? Because if you look inside a key with your phone's flashlight, you will see an extremely precise little nub that the top of the spring 'locks' with. That's the secret of how this space-age technology from 1985 actually works. When you grasp that, the process of seating these keys is easier. Hopefully this post saves someone an hour of frustration getting their latest splurge to work properly.

Ridley wrote: 05 Jul 2022, 20:23 I'm really hoping this isn't a manufacturing defect as I've waited seven months for this thing. Any help would be appreciated.

I waited three years... I can imagine some even longer perhaps.

Ridley wrote: 05 Jul 2022, 23:09 But why does the guide suggest holding the board vertically? By default most of my springs were seated well (with a few exceptions), but when you have the board do anything except lie horizontally it makes those springs stand directly out of the keyhole like little rows of uniform soldiers. Obviously twisting your keyboard in one direction may not put the springs at this super-precise angle, so spin it around until you think it's as close to centered as possible.

Holding the keyboard vertical while pressing on keycaps is recommended on any IBM / Unicomp buckling spring keyboard and has been so for years. If you lift the edge normally facing you up then all the springs will all fall into the same "vertical" position (or maybe "straight inside the tubes" to be more precise because the keyboard is now tilted), and that is the preferred point to have it meet a nub inside the keycap.

Sometimes pressing on a keycap while the keyboard is flat on your desk might work, but there's a large chance that the spring gets trapped in the wrong position and hence why there is a preferred technique which guides teach you.

I must admit that I haven't checked the New Model F guide yet because I don't have got one, but I would imagine it's basically this (but maybe without any background info).

JBert wrote: 06 Jul 2022, 03:00 Holding the keyboard vertical while pressing on keycaps is recommended on any IBM / Unicomp buckling spring keyboard and has been so for years. If you lift the edge normally facing you up then all the springs will all fall into the same "vertical" position (or maybe "straight inside the tubes" to be more precise because the keyboard is now tilted), and that is the preferred point to have it meet a nub inside the keycap.

I must admit that I haven't checked the New Model F guide yet because I don't have got one, but I would imagine it's basically this (but maybe without any background info).

I've never had to twist any keyboard around like this, not even when working with an era-appropriate Model M. It was very "plug and play" because the mentioned keycap nub is either very generous in size or is some other design entirely. (Too lazy to go pull it out and verify.) There's a key installation video but it doesn't explain anything mentioned here, which is unfortunate since it's so pertinent.

Ridley wrote: 06 Jul 2022, 15:53 I've never had to twist any keyboard around like this, not even when working with an era-appropriate Model M.

Even this terrifically old-school Model M FAQ directly from Unicomp states:

To install a key, rock the keyboard front to back so the spring pivots freely into the center of the chimney area. It doesn't have to be perfectly centered, just not touching any of the sides. At this point, place the stem of the key into the chimney with the spring riding up into the center of the stem. Press down until it snaps into place. Actuate the button and feel the tactile switch. If you don't feel the snap, remove the key and do it again.

Also, word of advice: when asking for help in a public forum, it's usually cool to keep the complaining to a minimum. If you want to complain, you know where to send an e-mail.
And I mean this in the nicest possible way - just recognizing that these people are helping you out for free, and have no affiliation with Model F Labs.