Post the ugliest keyboards you've seen!

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AMongoose

05 Jul 2018, 14:30

eekee wrote: I don't often double-post and I obviously don't often complain about bright colors, but this Amazon find just caught me the wrong way:
The lighter holder is a nice touch that has been missing in a lot of high end kustoms.

User avatar
kbdfr
The Tiproman

05 Jul 2018, 15:03

fohat wrote: I like beige, it is the proper color for a computer. I also like square shapes, domed tops on boxes that you can't stack papers on are a waste of space.
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Blaise170
ALPS キーボード

05 Jul 2018, 15:15

fohat wrote: I like beige, it is the proper color for a computer. I also like square shapes, domed tops on boxes that you can't stack papers on are a waste of space.
I like dome tops, then other people can't stack their papers on your box. :lol:

User avatar
vometia
irritant

05 Jul 2018, 18:00

eekee wrote: Then, well, it was the 90s. I had little money for the entire decade, and I still lived in ENGLAND. There were brief flashes of color at the beginning of the decade and a handful of other times, but because it was ENGLAND, they didn't sell. By the time anything got to a price I could afford, "you can have any color you like so long as it's [beige!]"
I still think of the '90s as The Grey Decade: personal computing descended into absolute boredom compared to the '80s 8-bit heyday and before it really took off again in the new millennium. It seemed everything had to be exorcised of any colour or interest. Not just computing, but a lot of the music and other pop culture was like that: what can one say about a decade whose highlight was Oasis and Blur's rather pedestrian bickering? Though I do think Damon Albarn summed up his rivals well as "Oasis Quo", a band that would've been an also-ran in the '70s taking the top slot in the '90s said it all.

Also cars, as previously mentioned. I still remember ads featuring some boring kids at a boring school being excited because his boring insurance salesman dad was going to pick him up in a boring Espace knock-off made even more excruciatingly boring by being in boring grey. I was just bemused, thinking that advertisers have pretty much everything at their disposal to be interesting and exciting, and that's their idea of what a schoolboy finds awesome? Ugh.

I also know the sort of people you speak of who like to keep their homes as uninteresting as possible, too. They're actually quite painful places to be because there is absolutely nothing to focus one's attention: and God knows the conversation isn't going to do it.

User avatar
fohat
Elder Messenger

05 Jul 2018, 19:51

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User avatar
ThePewster

05 Jul 2018, 20:25

Damn. And I thought stickerbombed cars looked worse.

Findecanor

05 Jul 2018, 20:45

depletedvespene wrote: Card readers on the keyboard? Done. Pen holders? Done. Phone holders? Done. A lighter holder is most definitely a new concept... although it begs the obvious question: where is the cigarette holder?
Agreed. That keyboard is wrrong on multiple levels.
I'd bet the keyboard serves like a large ash tray after a while.

User avatar
depletedvespene

05 Jul 2018, 20:50

Findecanor wrote: Agreed. That keyboard is wrrong on multiple levels.
I'd bet the keyboard serves like a large ash tray after a while.
You just HAD to stir up that bleak memory again, hadn't you? Damn, it's taking me quite an effort NOT to tell it and get it stuck on everyone else's neurons as well... :cry:

User avatar
Darkshado

06 Jul 2018, 04:04

Zu spät. What the hell was that? Yes, I know, a two minute ad for a USB lighter, but as I said, what the hell was that?

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depletedvespene

06 Jul 2018, 04:06

Being over two minutes long, I'm ready to believe it's a parody and not a real product.

pleasohgodpleaseletthisbethecaseohpleaseohplease

Findecanor

06 Jul 2018, 04:29

Japanese TV ads are in a league of their own ... That is just one of several films from the brand's Youtube channel.

Smoking next to your keyboard would be disrespecting your keyboard, and BTW in extension disrespecting this community.
Personally I think that tobacco and smoking should be banned completely.

User avatar
depletedvespene

06 Jul 2018, 04:38

Findecanor wrote: Japanese TV ads are in a league of their own ... That is just one of several films from the brand's Youtube channel.

Smoking next to your keyboard would be disrespecting your keyboard, ……
Not only that, you DON'T use the cartridge slot as an "closeable ash tray". And you don't give the evil look to the git who tells you you're not supposed to do that, FFS. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

User avatar
AMongoose

06 Jul 2018, 10:41

Findecanor wrote: Agreed. That keyboard is wrrong on multiple levels.
I'd bet the keyboard serves like a large ash tray after a while.
Spoiler:
So you're saying we should have a usb ligther built into the keyboard instead of a stand for a separate lighter?

savantstrike

06 Jul 2018, 12:31

Findecanor wrote:
depletedvespene wrote: Card readers on the keyboard? Done. Pen holders? Done. Phone holders? Done. A lighter holder is most definitely a new concept... although it begs the obvious question: where is the cigarette holder?
Agreed. That keyboard is wrrong on multiple levels.
I'd bet the keyboard serves like a large ash tray after a while.
I'm not honestly sure what just happened, but that was not was I was expecting.

701c

12 Jul 2018, 23:50

Look what massdrop did

Image

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fohat
Elder Messenger

12 Jul 2018, 23:52

I really like that green one, except for the bottom row legends. The exposed switch bodies look out of place, however.

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depletedvespene

12 Jul 2018, 23:54

That case is awful, even more than the colourway for the caps. The combination of "exposed" in the bottom row and barely uncovered on the top is incongruous.

The legends on the bottom row AND on the backspace key are nothing to be proud of, either.

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scottc

12 Jul 2018, 23:57

Looks pretty bad. If there's a plate included, it's not even attached to the case. It's like an upside-down TX60. Not at all a fan.

Image

Didn't zslane design that?

edit: MD says it has an alu plate but it's only visible in one picture?

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digital_matthew

13 Jul 2018, 00:59

Aahhh yes my F122 is a sea of soothing beige. But yeah it's too much even for me. I put red Ctrl and blue Alt keys on it to break it up.

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mike52787
Alps Aficionado

13 Jul 2018, 01:01

701c wrote: Look what massdrop did

Image
wow that looks like absolute shit

sorry zslane but you've outdone yourself this time

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zslane

13 Jul 2018, 03:55

I concede that the aesthetics of the Hermes Rocket typewriter are an acquired taste.

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lemur

13 Jul 2018, 04:09

I don't like the case... but I think I wholly understand all of its design decisions.. lots of old timey keyboards had huge in your face logos... and of course.. lots of them you saw some of the key mechanisms underneath the front..

I think that view of the switches at the bottom is its best design quirk... and while the thing I like least about the case is the big huge logo.. that is probably what makes it most like the old timey keyboards of the past.

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Blaise170
ALPS キーボード

13 Jul 2018, 15:26

If the case was more standard I'd probably like it better.

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AMongoose

13 Jul 2018, 15:49

Eh, I like it. And I usually hate exposed switches but it's a cool nod to the original and tasteful enough. I only hope that there is an option for single colour caps.

Findecanor

13 Jul 2018, 16:02

fohat wrote: I really like that green one, except for the bottom row legends. The exposed switch bodies look out of place, however.
Having Undo on the backwards Delete key is a big No-No.
Edit: I see now that the original typewriter had a symbol like that.

The bottom row legends: cannon, V2 rocket, the number 8 (?) in some forgotten numerical system, and railway car?
Last edited by Findecanor on 13 Jul 2018, 16:12, edited 1 time in total.

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depletedvespene

13 Jul 2018, 16:06

Findecanor wrote: The bottom row legends: cannon, V2 rocket, the number 8 (?) in some forgotten numerical system, and railway car?
Spoiler:
At least the space penis seems to have been quietly dropped.

Findecanor

13 Jul 2018, 16:17

Hmm.. I see now. The exposed switches are a bit weird but it would probably have not looked so weird had the keycaps been skirtless like the original.
I would have made the top level instead of angled, and I think there was a missed opportunity not to put three indicator LEDs on the right border.
If the material is aluminium, I think there was also a missed opportunity to not make it metallic green. A consistent desaturated cyan keycap colour instead of green might also have been more authentic.

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digital_matthew

14 Jul 2018, 03:14

Not so much ugly as shoddy:
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Red_October

14 Jul 2018, 06:43

depletedvespene wrote:
Card readers on the keyboard? Done. Pen holders? Done. Phone holders? Done. A lighter holder is most definitely a new concept... although it begs the obvious question: where is the cigarette holder?

(don't get me started on the ash tray — I still get mad at the memories of that)
???

My dad was a weapons controller in the Air Force, on a massive system called SAGE -Semi-Automatic Ground Environment, a 1950s-era, vacuum-tube driven computer network which was responsible for a great many firsts in computing history: first local-area network (each site had two complete computers for redundancy), first wide-area network (all sites networked together, sharing information in more-or-less real-time), first computer music (it could play Christmas carols on the processor alarm) first inklings of the GUI (it used light guns and you interacted with the radar scope by "shooting" icons), it could even display a naked lady on the scope! It ran at 3MHz, the fastest vacuum-tube computer ever built, took up roughly the same area as a football field (American), and most lived in a nuclear-hardened blockhouse. At each operator's station there was not only an ashtray, but also an automobile-style cigar lighter! My dad still has one of those ashtrays! Along with a few other little items of the user interface; when it was decommissioned in the late 1970s, everyone knicked everything that wasn't nailed down or red hot. Nonetheless, the government realized a profit in the scrapping due to all the gold that it had contained -it scrapped out for more than was paid for it!

Regarding smoking at the terminal in general, I keep a small brush, an "acid brush", used in plumbing, and available for well less than a dollar at hardware stores, in the pencil tray on my Model F so that any errant ash can be brushed away immediately and thoroughly, for any accidents involving spilling the entire ashtray, a Hoover Portapower commercial vacuum cleaner sits plugged in and ready to go at all times behind my desk chair. I'm a slob and I know it, but I'll protect my precious keyboards if I can!

User avatar
Elrick

14 Jul 2018, 07:18

zslane wrote: I concede that the aesthetics of the Hermes Rocket typewriter are an acquired taste.
Everyone first thought the Bel Air Car design were extremely weird when first released, yet decades later they're worshiped as a Classic American Car.

So before you start listening to 'non-designers' about basic aesthetics, consider the current crop of absolute BORING keyboards that wouldn't excite a Catholic Priest in a kindergarten.

Your design is unique and that alone places it way above the avalanche of unexciting and monotonous designs billowing out of factories around the world.

Your keyboard is not that, so I am glad at least something different has surfaced, instead of another boring flat plate keyboard design like Poker, Tada68 or another Whitefox.

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